Sunday, December 5, 2010

I'm happy. In the future.

It’s not really fair to say that I’m not satisfied in the present, but I’m strongly inclined to. I’m looking forward to my future so much that sometimes I by-pass days without even realizing that I’m doing so. I am so focused on who I will be, what I will doing, and where I will be, that sometimes I struggle with admitting happiness in the present day. And it’s not that I'm not happy, but I just know I will be much more satisfied when I can say that I am without a doubt... successful.


It’s always a worry of mine; not knowing what’s going to happen drives me crazy. And expectations are just another conflict in this whole “future-happiness” scenario. When I have expectations, nine times out of ten I don’t get what I expect and I am left highly disappointed. But when I don’t have expectations, I over-exceed.


Somehow I wish that I could just know what the future held. I mean, how much easier would it be to fast-forward and see your successes unfold? You wouldn't have self-doubt, you would have the right amount of self-discipline and you'd have the sure knowledge that you can just relax, and that everything will pay off in the end.

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