It’s not really fair to say that I’m not satisfied in the present, but I’m strongly inclined to. I’m looking forward to my future so much that sometimes I by-pass days without even realizing that I’m doing so. I am so focused on who I will be, what I will doing, and where I will be, that sometimes I struggle with admitting happiness in the present day. And it’s not that I'm not happy, but I just know I will be much more satisfied when I can say that I am without a doubt... successful.
It’s always a worry of mine; not knowing what’s going to happen drives me crazy. And expectations are just another conflict in this whole “future-happiness” scenario. When I have expectations, nine times out of ten I don’t get what I expect and I am left highly disappointed. But when I don’t have expectations, I over-exceed.
Somehow I wish that I could just know what the future held. I mean, how much easier would it be to fast-forward and see your successes unfold? You wouldn't have self-doubt, you would have the right amount of self-discipline and you'd have the sure knowledge that you can just relax, and that everything will pay off in the end.
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